The last months have been a tug of war of emotions – and I am the one in the middle of the rope that keeps getting pulled back and forth over the line in the dirt.  We spent much of the winter and spring settling into our Mexican neighborhood before returning to Canada in April to get our house finished and up for sale.  We headed back to Bucerias at the end of June to prepare for the arrival of Team Restore – the great group of warriors who joined us to work their butts off at the orphanage and surrounding communities.    But it was a quick trip and we are back in Lumsden to finish packing.  Grant’s business here is sold but he has a LOT of tools he will be taking to Mexico to assist in his business there – Banderas Bay Enterprises.  Grant would not be himself without his tools, so he has been sorting and boxing and I have been cataloguing and valuing them for the Mexican border people.  We have also been sorting and selling our personal stuff, and this week we really got serious about it all, packing in final boxes and recording every item in my fancy Excel spreadsheet.  Nothing is ever easy in Mexico, and importing our belongings will be an uncertain adventure.

It is in this area of material possessions that I have been struggling.  Our house in Mexico is simple.  The road out front is dirt so the house is often dusty.  It is hot and noisy and the kitchen is tiny and I have a clothesline instead of a dryer.  The shower spits at me.  The kitchen sink has no cold water.  But I love it and feel totally comfortable there.  Then I come home to this beautiful home that my husband built with his own hands and it is clean and quiet and peaceful.  The kitchen is amazing with every type of convenience.  Not only do I have a dryer but it has a million settings and sings a pretty song when it wants my attention.  The shower has 6 jet things and an overhead rain shower.  And a hand held faucet just to be sure.  I love it and feel totally comfortable there – and that makes me feel really guilty.  So I have been processing this a lot.  I know in my head poverty is not something to strive for – it is not more holy or more loving to be poor.  So how do I reconcile my two worlds?

Recently I read a Scripture verse that really put it all in perspective:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 

I have read that verse a million times – and I always focused on the importance of being content when life sucks, when I am sick or broke or someone has let me down.  But when I read it last week it hit me that it is also important to be content when I have plenty.  It is okay to just appreciate the blessings when they appear – to be thankful and grateful and most importantly generous with them.

So tonight I think I’ll relax in the Jacuzzi while I watch a movie in my spa bathroom – and tomorrow I’ll pack up more of my ‘stuff’ in anticipation of the day when I will wrestle with some Mexican border guy about why I need all this crap!