Category Archives: Volunteering in Mexico

An Uncertain Christmas

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Generally, I like change.  I like when surprises sneak up on me.  I like when things are new, unexpected, adventurous, unknown.  You can’t move to Mexico and expect things to look even remotely familiar.  But Christmas is different.  Christmas is about tradition, about recreating memories, about things staying the same.  And for that – well this Christmas I was just a bit sad.  This is the first Christmas that we have not been with our own daughters.  Flights were too expensive; job vacations were too short.  This year it didn’t make sense.  Still, reason and common sense gave way to se24899711_10155086227796198_3210385353696014323_nlf-pity.  After all, this was the year I thought we would finally build a proper family Christmas.  Among our 3 loads of belonging, we had moved our big old Christmas tree, our stockings, our ornaments.  Snowmen and stockings and candles and the tiny Nativity scene.   My roasting pan and that old gravy bowl.  My tablecloths and napkins and those cute little snowball place card holders.  Everything I needed to finally make a family Christmas dinner in this new home.  Familiar.  Safe.  Traditional.

So when we agreed to postpone our family time until spring this year, I admit I was disappointed.   I briefly… really briefly…. considered flying north to them but I knew that was not right either.  We were needed here and as December unfolded, I began to see the plan emerge exactly as it was meant to.   Since the last weekend of October, we have enjoyed opening our guest rooms to three little girls who need a home and as Christmas approached, I realized our tree and our decorations and even our stockings still had work to do.

Of course, as often happens here, the road became bumpier and more uncertain the closer we got to Christmas weekend.   It looked like we would have the girls for the weekend.  We shopped –  for toys and groceries and surprises.  We hung our own daughters’ stockings in preparation for Santa’s arrival.  Nope.  They’re going with mom.   Tears from everyone.  Nope.  Mom changed her mind – please come get them.  More tears.  More pain.  So much pain.  But finally, it was Christmas morning and I looked around our breakfast table and rejoiced that our chairs were full and our table was overflowing with Christmas treats and Christmas love.  Unlike my own daughters, these children hadn’t even considered looking under the tree or looking in the stockings.   I had however found a letter under the tree on Christmas Eve written by 10-year-old Marely.  “Santa, they say you’re not real but I still believe in you.  If you are real, please tell me the truth -Yes or No”.  Over breakfast, when Grant said, “I wonder if Santa came, she actually looked pretty angry.  “No.  There’s no Santa”.  “Well, let’s look”.  They ran to the stockings and I was elated with the pure joy on Marely’s face “He came, Santa came”.  I don’t know what she really believes, but for this year at least, she got to experience being a child with a stocking full of treats and gifts under a tree.

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Christmas Eve Candlelight Service

 

 

Christmas morning surprise!

That evening, we had a traditional Canadian Christmas meal in our tiny garden.  On Friday I thought there would be just 5 of us, but by Monday night our family had grown to 13.  Canadians, Americans, Mexicans of all ages.  Spanish and English jumbled together.  So different than our normal tradition.  So exactly the same.

 

As always, the happy stories are mushed together with the painful stories.  The joy of a Christmas weekend is paired with some truly difficult moments and I have new respect for all foster moms and adoptive moms who love children who come from difficult places.  The same little hands and arms that gave generous hugs of joy, left painful bruises and scratches when they realized mom wasn’t coming for them.  Gifts that were purchased with love were stolen and hidden away.  So much laughter mixed with so many tears.  But that is the whole point of the Christmas story.  A baby coming into a broken world.  Love wrapped in flesh.  A father to the fatherless and the orphans.  Peace that passes understanding.  Not the Christmas I expected but oh the Christmas I will cherish.   Joy to the World!

A Long Awaited Christmas Gift for Pricila

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You know well the story of our little weekend girls who have not been able to attend school because they have never been registered with the Mexican registry.  In Mexico the rule is “No birth certificate = No school.”   In Canada, that process happens in the hospital when our children are born – it is free and it is easy.  It is automatic and I never had to question whether my children would be allowed to attend Kindergarten when that big day arrived.  But here, it costs money to get a birth certificate and it means going to a few different offices and filling out reams of paper.  So some moms just don’t get it done and that means their children will never receive an education.  The children who come from difficult places, who need education the most, cannot access it.  This has been the case for Britani and Pricila and Mama Vero has been working for many months to get the papers processed.  Unfortunately, mom must be involved in the process and that has not always been easy in this family.  But over the past couple of months mama has been living nearby and has been cooperative.

The process has been long and it has been difficult. Surprise, right?  Because Britani is now 7, her papers were no longer available at the hospital where she was born.  They had been sent up to Tepic – a 2 ½ hour drive through winding mountain roads.  Veronica, our Super Hero Orphanage director, made 2 trips there but must now hire a lawyer to start a whole new process because too much time has passed.  Since the process was underway, the school allowed Britani to begin classes but only for 2 months.   If the papers aren’t here in 2 months she will not be able to continue.  Unfortunately, the clock is ticking down and it is not looking good.  But it is just a matter of time and perseverance and eventually Britani will be registered and in school permanently.

Yesterday the word came that Pricila’s papers were ready to be signed, fingerprinted, sorted, copied and stapled and this morning we all headed over to the Registration office.  Pricila put her tiny little fingerprint in all of the correct boxes, Mama signed the papers, and then Grant and I, as her Padrinas, signed as the witnesses.

That made me think about our roles in these little girls’ lives.  We have indeed been witnesses… to so much –  their pain, their poverty and their brokenness.  Their laughter, their affection and their hugs.  We have witnessed their sad faces and their joyful hearts.  We have witnessed their pranks as they snuck up on a sleeping Grant and scared him half to death.  We have witnessed their messy morning hair when they knock on our door at 5:30 am and their late night pyjama movie parties where they slather their popcorn with ridiculous amounts of hot sauce.  Last week I witnessed a single tear from Mareli as she watched the ending of a happy Christmas movie.  Oh how we hope that we can continue to witness these precious lives and maybe more importantly, we hope to BE WITNESSES to them … of love, of family and of future hope.  Of God’s love for little orphan girls.

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But for today, Feliz Navidad Pricila – next month you’re going to Kinder!

How Can We Help?

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The thing we have struggled with the most and continue to struggle with is how to best help the people we find in our path here.  Every day we see a need, feel some pain, touch a wound and we are not sure when we can or should help.  It is not just about money – maybe it’s least about money.

I have told you many stories about some of the families we have come to know and love.  Recently I have been sharing about the 3 girls who have stayed in our home after mom lost her house.  We are living week to week in that story and last weekend we waited at the orphanage on Friday afternoon to see if mom would come for her girls.  2 of them were in school (yay!) and the agreement was that at 4:50 she would come to pick up her youngest and then walk to the school to gather her other 2 for the weekend.  We waited and at 5:27 we decided she mustn’t be coming and we needed to go pick up the 2 at school at 5:30 and bring them home with us.  I was relieved.  We jumped in the golf cart and about 4 blocks from the orphanage we saw mom slowly walking towards the school.  So now my conscience had a battle.  Should we meet her, hand over her 5-year-old who was with us and deliver her to the school to get the others?  Or should we turn down a different street, so she didn’t see us, go get the girls and take them home.  Honestly, I didn’t want them to go home with her – but she is their mom and she appeared to be doing the right thing – although late and without her youngest.  So, we pulled up and

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Watching Mom walk away with ‘our’ girl

offered her a ride to the school.  I knew the oldest daughter would not be happy – she wanted to go home with us – so we quickly left before we were seen by the girls.  No one needed a scene outside the school.  We continued on to drop off 3 of the other Mans de Amor children in another town 20 miles away and stopped for some seafood.  We were quiet – I imagine this is how divorced parents feel when the ‘other parent’ gets their kids for the weekend.  We were worried, angry, frustrated.  But we are not their parents and it seems mom is trying.

About the time we were leaving the restaurant, I looked at my phone and saw a number of missed calls from the orphanage director.  She had the girls, mom didn’t actually want them that weekend because she had no beds in her ‘new’ home.   Relief.   They would be ours for one more weekend at least.

We headed back to Bucerias to pick them up and then we were faced with another moral dilemma.  We had an extra bed in our garage.  Our friend Diana had left it there and told us to give it to someone who needed it.  I knew the orphanage had another little bed to be given away.   We could help them set up their house so that they could again have their daughters with them.  I could make happen the exact opposite of what I wanted.   Oh, the struggle that went on inside.  No bed = the girls stay with me.  Beds = the girls go home.

I talked to Veronica that night and she said “let’s meet tomorrow morning and take them the beds.  Also, they want you to take your truck and help them get all the things that were thrown in the street when they were evicted from their last house.”   I knew – albeit grudgingly – that this was the right thing.  Let’s help them make a new home.

Saturday morning, we drove to their new house to pick everyone up.  House is a bit of an exaggeration.  There was a tiny cement room.  The yard was surrounded by a wire fence and miscellaneous filthy blankets were attached to the fence to create walls.  There was a piece of tin over it all.  That was the home – a fenced yard.  But it was theirs and it was not much different than many others in the neighborhood.

Off we went to help them find their discarded stuff.  We drove into one of the worst neighborhoods in Bucerias.  Grant and I had driven through there before in the golf cart and had said we didn’t think we better come back – a little rough.  But we helped them load and unload their few belongings and left them to set it all up.  The littlest one

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Family Saturday errands

stayed with mama and we took the 2 middle girls to the swimming pool for the afternoon.   I was very upset – I didn’t want them to go live in that little house – and when some tourists at the pool tried playing with the girls I grabbed our stuff and said “Let’s go” – no stranger is going to talk to my kids.   Except they’re not my kids and the home their mom is making for them is all she can provide.   The best way to help right now is to empower her to be the best mom she can be – offering support when she needs it.  That is what my mind tells me, my heart was struggling to agree.

That night the two youngest daughters were excited to stay with mom.  The oldest still refused and stayed with us.  We had some good talks about the importance of family and we told this angry 9-year-old we would be there if she needed us.  If you are scared, you know where we live.  She talked about her other siblings – besides the three of them there are 3 more brothers, 2 more sisters.  The sisters live with Grandma.  She doesn’t even know where the brothers live – Brian and Juan Carlos and one other. They are just teenagers living on their own.   It was a sad conversation and I feel so much pain for this child and for the mom who has lost all but 2 of her 8 children.   For now at least, the girls will continue to come to Manos de Amor during the week so mom and her boyfriend can find jobs.  Our weekend house will be open if they need us.

This family is not the only one we contemplate helping each week. There are constantly people showing up at our door selling things, needing things – maybe legitimate needs, maybe scams.   There is one young man who comes once or twice a week and rings our doorbell and asks if we have work.  We get him to sweep leaves or wash our car or other small tasks.  We give him 20 or 50 pesos, usually whatever food we have around.  Grant noticed his shoes were almost completely worn out and gave him some sandals.  Another day some pants.  A leash and some food for his scruffy little dog.  Well you’re not going to believe this.  Today he came to our door as usual and this time he said – “I am Juan Carlos.  You know my sisters.  You know my mom.”  It was one of the lost brothers!  For the past 4 or 5 months we have been feeding and clothing the brother of these three sweet little girls.  No one but God could have joined us all together.

I don’t know what our continuing role will be with this family.  The oldest daughter does not want to go home with her mom.  She does not like the mom’s boyfriend.  I don’t know that it is right for us to keep her with us.   I want to support a relationship but how can we help it become a healthy one?  How can we help reunite the brother with his siblings and his mom?

Today we stopped at the orphanage and all 3 girls surrounded us and gave us letters they had written to us.  Yesterday they had been in a fight with one of the boys in the home.  The letter said they were sorry for fighting.  (I didn’t know anything about the fight – not sure why I was getting the apology 😊) And then the last sentence of each letter – one to Grant, one to me.  I love you Grat. (They can’t say Grant).  I love you Karen.  Hugs all around.   And the story continues.

Good News for Britani!

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Good news!  I’ve been telling you the story of the 2 little girls with the missing birth certificates.  In Mexico, children need birth certificates to go to school. Unfortunately, getting one is not free, so often the poorest moms just don’t get it done.  Which means the children who need education the most, may not be able to access it.  It is frustrating and Veronica, the director at Manos de Amor has spent too many hours to count over the years chasing moms for papers.  If mom won’t cooperate, her children can’t go to school.  That has been the story for 7-year-old Britany for the past 18 months.  She has been shuffled back and forth between Mom, Grandma, and Manos de Amor and has never been able to attend a school.  She has watched her friends go to school each morning while she is left behind.   Although Manos de Amor has offered to pay for the birth certificate and do all the legwork, Mom has simply refused to cooperate, and she is the only one who can make the application with a photo and signature.

On Monday, Mom came to Manos de Amor to tell us where her new home is, and Veronica insisted she go with her to get her photo taken.  At first, she refused…. again…. but after borrowing some makeup from one of the staff members she agreed to go.  By Tuesday Veronica had the papers filled out and signed and many copies made.  It will still be a while before she gets the actual birth certificate – papers must be filed at 4 different offices around the state.  But having the papers filled out was enough for the school to agree to allow Britani to attend – under 2 conditions:

  • It is only approved for two months. If no papers are produced within 2 months, no more school for Britani.
  • She had to bring her own chair. What?  Nope, the school did not have an extra chair for Britani, she would have to bring her own.  So Veronica took a little wooden chair from the Manos de Amor dining room, outfitted it with a desktop and voila…. she had a desk.

From the dining room to a classroom

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By Wednesday, Britani was in school in her spiffy new uniform and polished black shoes, and when we picked her and her sister up in the golf cart after school she was happy beyond measure.  She is a year behind others her age, 2 months behind those in her class – but she is in school and she is excited.

More than anything, we hope that this will be a turning point for this family.  That Mom will step up and recognize how amazing her children are.   Will be there Friday afternoon to take her daughters home from school like all the other mothers who crowd around the school doors.    And if that doesn’t happen, our guest rooms are ready.  But for this week we celebrate that finally Britani is in school!

 

A Weekend of sad FUN

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Last weekend was fun, scary, hilarious, perplexing, humbling, exhausting and deeply satisfying.    Instead of doing our regular weekly vegetable shopping and house cleaning, we spent the weekend playing Monopoly, making bracelets and trying to braid the hair of the three little girls who stayed with us from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening.

We are so fortunate to spend most days working at Manos de Amor, a children’s home here in Bucerias.  Most of the children have some type of family or extended family – but every one of them has a painful story of poverty, abuse and neglect.  Even those parents who care, struggle to provide what their children need.  I have written before about the three little girls whose mom pops in and out of their lives, depending on the desperation in her own circumstances.  2 of the girls have never received birth certificates so they cannot attend school.   Usually we drive them to their grandmother’s home on Friday nights but since their mom and their grandmother recently had a falling out, that is no longer an option.  Mom has recently moved to Bucerias and we were hoping that living closer would make the situation a bit safer for these young girls.  Unfortunately, for the past 2 weeks Mom did not show up on Friday to get her children, nor did she call to explain.   The first weekend they went home with the orphanage director and then came to our house for Saturday afternoon.  On Sunday we all ran/walked/biked/skipped in a 5k together.

Our first weekend together away from the orphanage – some beach time and a 5k together

Last week they begged to spend the entire weekend with us.  No one, not even these sweet children, expected their mother to show up.  Of course, we agreed.   We knew it would be fun and maybe a bit terrifying.

On Friday after our English class we loaded them into the golf cart along with the other 3 that we drive home to a neighboring village a few miles away.  About a block from the home, we saw a couple sitting on the curb and one of the little girls quietly said to me “That’s my mama.”  We slammed on the brakes, pulled a U Turn and signaled for the woman to follow us back to the orphanage.  I could immediately tell she was in no shape to look after 3 children, and my own motherly instinct kicked in.  I was not about to part with these children who deserved to be safe this weekend.  I needn’t have worried.  Mom was coming to tell us that she did not have a home to take the girls to, she had been evicted and would like them to stay at the orphanage for the weekend.   I tried to see the positive in this – she had at least come to tell us.  Unfortunately, she did not talk to her girls, did not hug her girls, did not acknowledge them.  She walked away, and we drove down the dirt road out of town.  I turned around and watched the middle girl – the 7-year-old – put her dirty little face in her hands and start to quietly sob for the mom she still loved and wanted to be with.  The mom who hadn’t even said hello after not showing up for a number of weeks.   I saw she had a paper in her hand and when I took it I saw a heart she had drawn and the word “mama” written on it.  Even though she didn’t expect her mom to show up, she had drawn her a picture just in case.

Grant and I did all we knew to reduce some of the pain – we went into extreme grandparenting mode.  Over the next 3 days we took the girls swimming, played all kinds of games, did crafts, cooked the foods they requested, went out for pancakes, watched movies with popcorn, went to church, and even got up in the middle of the night to get rid of a bug in their room.  They chose which bedrooms they wanted, unpacked their few clothes into drawers, and claimed a stuffed animal each.   We had a blast and they behaved really well.  Each of them had a ‘moment’ but we were prepared, and they passed quickly.  It was a great weekend and I was even called ‘Mama’ once by the littlest 5-year-old.

 

At the end of the weekend the oldest 9-year-old asked for my Spanish translator and typed in ‘divertido’ – FUN –“this weekend was divertido.  Can we come again next week?”  How do you answer that when everything about her life is so uncertain and unstable?  I don’t know what next week holds for you little one.

Today during English class Mom showed up at Manos de Amor.  She has found a new home, close to the orphanage.  The director immediately took her by the arm and drove her to get a passport photo taken.  That is the first of many steps to get birth certificates for her daughters.   At first she argued because she wasn’t’ wearing makeup.  Seriously?  That’s what you’re concerned about?  Obviously, I have mixed feelings.  I am invested now.  I have wiped away tears and combed away lice and cut up pancakes.  But she is their mom and they love her and in her own brokenness, she must love them too.   But she needs help and perhaps that is the best we can do – be there when she doesn’t show up to pick up the pieces.   Suspend judgement and be a friend.  Love her daughters when she can’t.  Today I shook her hand and said, “It’s good to see you”.   And then I came home and tidied two bedrooms, put stuffed dogs in the center of beds and prepared for visitors.   Maybe these three will be back.  Maybe it will be others.   Whatever our assignment, we’re ready!

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Another Grad…. Another Head Table

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What the heck is with me and graduations and head tables?  This weekend I was thrilled to attend the graduation of my dear friend Veronica from the Information Services computer class she has been taken for the last 2 years.  Veronica is the director of Manos de Amor – a fireplug if there ever was one.  She invited her children and her sister and some Manos children and a few friends to the ceremony and dinner, and Grant and I were excited to be included.

Like every Mexican event we have ever been invited to, it started about an hour late.  We arrived at 2:00 sharp and the only other people in the whole room were our friends Francisco, Anita and Manuela.  Not another graduate.  Not a staff member from the school.  5 of us alone in the room.    At around 2:45 people started to trickle in and things were ready to start at around 3.

There were 4 chairs at the head table, and 3 people sitting there.  One empty chair. About 5 minutes before the ceremony was to begin, Anita came to me and told me the organizers would like me to sit at the head table to help hand out certificates  and to give a few words on behalf of Manos de Amor.  WHAT???   Déjà vu flooded over me – was this a mistake again?  (Remember this? We’re Padrinas mistaken for Celebrities)  Because I don’t speak Spanish and these people are all Spanish and what on earth should I say and why do they want me to say it?  I slightly panicked.  They told me Anita would translate for me and then that was it.  They were announcing my name and I was sitting at the head table.

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I am still a bit confused.  I think that Veronica is just really well respected amongst her peers as is her organization and they were genuinely pleased that we were there.    So what did I say?  I congratulated the graduates, told them I recognized how they had sacrificed in order to help their families and their communities and in fact all of Mexico to become stronger.  I told how much Manos de Amor values education and that it was important that children who are watching them see that they value it too.  I told them not to stop learning.  And I promised that even though I am old, I can going to continue learning until I can speak Spanish.

And the really funny thing?  All of the graduates had agreed to wear pink dresses to the ceremony and guess what color I was wearing?  I fit right in as if it had all been planned.

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So Felicidades Veronica – Mama Vero – we are proud of you and I was  honored to be the one to hand you your certificate!

Now let’s have a party!!!

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Who Cares if it’s a Square?

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Today is Friday -the final day of our Monday, Wednesday, Friday English class schedule.   On each of those days we teach 3 classes to the children of Manos de Amor Casa Hogar.   These children are living at Casa Hogar because their parents or caregivers need a helping hand.  A few have no parents.  Many have 1.  Lots of grandmas have stepped in.   They have all experienced great trauma in their young lives – abuse, prostitution, alcoholism. And poverty.  A lot of poverty.

So 3 days a week we arrive at the home with our bag full of worksheets and crafts and videos and songs and tablets.  We have divided the groups by age.  The 6-9 year olds have learned about colors and families and counting to 20 and greetings and this week we learned about Day and Night.  We are working on vocabulary but also trying to learn some sentences.    “I have 4 shoes”. “Touch something red with your nose”.  They love songs and sing them REALLY LOUD.  I expect the whole neighborhood now knows the days of the week.  They especially love the English learning apps we have on the tablets that we use once a week or so.

20170906_163354The oldest children – those 10 and over – use the Duolingo language learning app.  We don’t really have to teach them – we are there to help when they are stuck and to do group review from time to time.  We are also there to stop their little fingers from ‘accidentally’ going to the App store and ‘surprisingly’ downloading games.  “I don’t know how that happened Karen”.  Sure you don’t.  We do reward them with a few minutes of game time to keep them coming back.  I love using this app because each child moves at his or her pace and new students can join at any time.

20170922_145605The funnest class is the littles, the 4-6 year olds.  They are hilarious and are actually learning quite a few words.  They are the ones who speak to me in English every chance they get.  “Hello, my name is Azbeth, how are you I am fine and you?”  They just run it all together and are so proud.   This week they learned shapes and today we finished the week by making Shape Guy heads.  They practiced shapes and face parts and colors on one little craft and they were pretty excited with the final product once they had added some butterflies and dogs and family members.

 

We are having fun but I have to admit that some days I look around at the needs and problems in this country and I wonder what possible difference it will make if Jose knows the difference between a square and a rectangle.   Will knowing their colors keep 12-year-old girls from getting pregnant and will greeting gringos in English stop boys from becoming trapped by alcohol?  Today after our final class we drove children from 3 families to their homes for the weekend and as I am every Friday, I was saddened by what I saw.  How can we think our little classes can make a difference?

But as I held babies and hugged toddlers, and stepped in poopy diapers littered on the ground, I smiled.  Yes, if children here learn English they will have an opportunity to secure a better paying job in the tourism industry.  But these 4-year-olds aren’t out looking for jobs.  What they are looking for is acceptance, confidence, affection, hope, safety and security.  For LOVE.  I watched Jose show his sisters and his niece Lupita his Shape Guy and I realized that for a few minutes today he felt proud of himself.  For at least an hour he experienced confidence and creativity and joy.   I remembered the look on Jorge’s face when he told me he had finished 8 Duolingo lessons.  The cheer Mareli let out when she finished a whole section of today’s learning app.

Our English class is not going to change Pricila’s life.  But maybe it will bring a tiny bit of healing to her broken heart.  Her mom isn’t there for her – but on Monday and Wednesday and Friday I can be.

As we left each of these children at their homes today – I really hate doing that – I did what I do each week.  I opened their little hands, tapped my fingers to their palms and then touched their palms to their hearts, “Okay, here is Jesus.  Don’t forget he’s going to be here with you all weekend.  You’re going to be ok”.

I realized what our class has to offer these little ones. – it offers US.   Our hearts.  Our acceptance.  Our love.  And really, that’s all any of us have to offer.

A Week of Surprise Dates

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This was the last week of summer vacation for the school children of Banderas Bay.  On Monday, they will head back to school after a 4 or 5-week break.  Like children everywhere, they are not happy about the end of freedom, the beginning of perceived bondage.  Someday they will remember these as the simplest days of their lives, but for now it’s just school with its early mornings (school starts at 7:30 here) and afternoon homework.

Some of the children went to stay with immediate family or extended family during the break.  I have worried about them because I know they may have been left alone while parents or grandparents worked and they may not have had much to eat.  I will feel better when everyone is back safe in our care. But many stayed at Manos de Amor for the entire summer and we continued with English classes twice a week.  We went to the pool and the beach and played games and went for rides in the golf cart.  This week Grant and I decided to celebrate the last week of vacation by taking each of the children on a surprise date.  We took most of them in pairs, but the littlest girls are impossible to separate so we took all 5 of them together.  Although we know that living at Manos de Amor Casa Hogar has made a huge difference in each child’s life, we also recognize that living in an institution can never be quite like being in a family.  These children long to spend one-on-one time with grown-ups who love them and we knew they would be excited to head out for a treat with us.  We didn’t tell them what we would be doing – each date was a surprise.

Samantha and Mareli

On Friday, we picked up the two oldest girls and headed to the theatre to watch Despicable Me 3.  I had checked online for the movie times and dates – I double and triple checked.  The movie was to be on at 11:00 at the mall in the next town.  Of course, as per Mexico, schedules mean nothing and when we arrived at the theatre, the ticket counter was dark.  Others were waiting as well, until an employee told us all “No, we’re not having it today”.   Our very first date of the week and our plan was already in jeopardy.  I quickly went online and found out the movie was showing in Vallarta in 90 minutes – and looking at the puppy dog eyes of these two girls I knew we had no choice.  We headed into Vallarta to the bigger mall where we had lunch, played a couple arcade games, and watched the movie with giant tubs of popcorn, both plain and caramel.  They loved the movie but do you know what made them the most excited?   The escalator and the automatic hand dryer.  It seemed they had never used either before and they just laughed and laughed.  Samantha said, “You’re the Mom and Gran is the Dad (they just can’t say Grant) and we’re a family.”  Before heading home, we stopped at the giant bead store where they each picked out one charm to remember the day by.  It was a good day.

 

Cesar and Luisito

On Monday, we picked up two of the boys in our Golf Cart and took them to our house for an afternoon of Wii video games and a hot dog BBQ.  As they came into our very simple house, Luisito said “You must be so rich – you have a TV and games and an office.”  Well that’s humbling considering how often I grumble about what I think I lack.   We laughed and laughed as they raced cars, played tennis and baseball and boxing.  A perfect boy date.

The Littles

On Tuesday it was the little girls’ turn – 5 of them, aged 5-7.  They were waiting at the door when we arrived and the next 4 hours was nothing but a pure giggle fest.  We took them to a little zoo in Nuevo Vallarta where we fed the turtles and fish.  Then we headed indoors to the nearby mall to play in the giant play structure, eat pizza and Happy Meals and finish off with ice cream sundaes.   I am not really sure if the littlest ones understand that we don’t speak the same language – they just keep talking and we just keep nodding and laughing.  It seems to work.

Fernanda and Santiago

We have known these two for many years – they used to live at Manos de Amor but at some point, went back to live with their father.  They were visiting for a few days and when we arrived back after our zoo date, they were waiting by the door with expectancy.  What about them?  Could they go with us too?  Honestly, I was pooped, and we had English classes to teach in a couple of hours, but they looked so sad.  How could we turn them down?  So we put them in the golf cart and took them home – Wii games were waiting.  It was hilarious watching these spunky siblings fight it out – but I was so sad as I watched Fernanda’s tiny arms swing the tennis racket.  She is too thin and that scares me.

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Carlos and Brayan

Wednesday was another Video Game and Hot Dog Day with these two brothers. This day was kind of special to us.  These two boys were the first children we ever met at Manos de Amor on our very first visit 6 years ago.  They captured our heart then and that was really the start of our “Moving to Mexico” journey.   They have had a tough life – their Dad died when they were very young and their mom left.  They live with grandparents who really can’t care for them.  Manos de Amor has been the only constant in their young lives.  Watching them play with Grant in our home felt like coming full circle in this adventure.

Meeting Carlos & Brayan in 2011 – the day I fell in love with Mexico’s children.  Who could have guessed the road ahead!

Grand Finale Water Fight Party

Thursday was the party to end Date week – and more importantly to end the summer.  We filled up 350 water balloons, cranked up the music and spent the afternoon drenching one another.  When the water balloons ran out, Carlos introduced the hose and that took it all to a whole new level.  Grant and I were not spared – in fact we were ganged up on – and with 32 degree heat, it felt really good!  We finished it all off with a bunch of pizza and danced around the patio with Brayan as our DJ.  I was tired, but we weren’t quite finished…..

Jorge and Victor

These two guys don’t live at Manos de Amor, but they live in the neighborhood and are in our English class.  We couldn’t leave them out.  Especially Victor.  His mom recently died and he lives across the street with his stepdad who is seldom around – he is so sad and often cuddles close under my arm.  When the water party seemed to be winding down I gave them the signal – let’s go to my place.  It’s your turn.  One last round of video games and since they were a bit older than the rest, they really got Mario’s Kart moving!  It was so good to hear Victor laugh.

That was the end of Date Week.  We will never know what it meant in the lives of these children.  Probably something different for everyone.  But it brought us all closer and as I watched them play throughout the week, I recognized that they now deeply trust us.  When they were scared or upset they ran to either Grant or I and held on tight.  They held our hands as we walked.  They whispered “Gracias”.  And today, when we were driving a number of the girls home for the weekend, Mareli said “Karen, remember the day we went to the movie and Samantha farted and Grant plugged his nose?”  And then we all laughed like crazy again – cause that’s what families do!

 

We’re Padrinas mistaken for Celebrities

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It’s the last week of school here in Banderas Bay and that means it’s Graduation season.  Just as it has in Canada, Graduation has spread to every level and we were invited to a Kindergarten (Kinder) grad as well as to a Sixth grade grad (Sexto).  We were honored to be included in both of these important days with these students and their families.

On Tuesday, we accompanied the three Manos de Amor Kinder students – Gigi, Geraldine and Jose – to their ceremony.  We picked up the prince and the two princesses in our chariot and headed to the school.

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When we arrived, there was standing room only and we found ourselves a spot right at the back.  That’s when it got hilarious.  One of the teachers – perhaps she was the principal – came to us and asked, “Were you invited here for the ceremony?”.  Not quite sure what she was getting at, we said yes and she told us we needed to sit at the front.  We thought perhaps we were standing in an off-limit area, so we followed her to the front before we realized that she was leading us to two empty seats at the head table.  I tried saying “No, there must be a mistake” but it was too late – the program was starting and she indicated we needed to sit in those chairs.  Somehow, we had been mistaken for some expected VIPs.  She had me write our names down and we were introduced and asked to stand – to great applause.  We couldn’t actually understand the introduction except for the part where they thanked us for all our help.  Huh?  For the next 2 hours, we sat there like celebrities, handing out the graduation certificates and the parent awards.  We shook hands.  We stood for the Mexican National Anthem – notice in the picture that we are the only ones not saluting.  That was rectified with one sharp elbow to Grant’s side.  After the ceremony, the woman who had been leading the ceremony thanked us profusely.  We graciously accepted her thanks.  Eventually they will realize that we were just two old gringos who were celebrating like all the rest of the parents but for those long 2 hours we had the best seats in the house!

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On Tuesday afternoon, we attended our second Graduation party – this time for Samuel who was graduating from Primeria (primary school) and heading into Secondaria (high school).  Samuel is the son of Norma who used to work at Manos de Amor and the nephew of Veronica the director.  Again, we were honored to be included in this family celebration – with Anna’s delicious birria.  We had to leave early to teach our English classes and sadly missed the Karaoke!

20170719_140137On Wednesday, we went to nearby San Vicente to attend the 6th Grade graduation of Isabel and Laurentino.  This time we were asked to be the Padrinas, which are similar to Godparents.  In Mexico, children will have many different adults throughout their lives who will be considered supporters or mentors.  At important milestones such as baptisms, graduations, even weddings –  families choose madrinas and padrinas to stand alongside the children to show love and support for them.    At the graduation ceremony, we each sat behind our graduate and walked with them to the front to get their diploma. I love the symbolism of that – we support from behind, we walk alongside.    I admit I looked around today – the only white English speakers in attendance – and wondered what on earth we are doing here – with this very poor community, with this family, with the orphanage, with Mexico in general.  Maybe this is it – we are offering love and support and encouragement from behind, walking alongside our newfound friends as they find their own way.   When the ceremony was over, we told Isabel and Laurentino that if they finish High School, we will help them fund university.  I am giving you fair warning – it’s a few years off but I will be asking for your help when that day comes!

Madrina Karen and Isabel …. Padrina Grant and Laurentino

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Meet the Santanas – Laurentino, Irandi, Isabel, Mom Tina with baby Cristofer, Ibet & Kevin, Ivon & Lupita.  Irandi’s baby Alison is missing from the picture.  Also missing are brothers Jose and Nasabid

So this was a good week of graduation and celebration.  Milestones.  Accomplishments. Hope.  Future.  In so many ways the odds are against these children but for this week we dream and we celebrate.  FELICIDADES ALUMNOS!

 

Arriving Home to Good News

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We did it!  After 15,000 kms and 41 days – all but 3 of them in a hotel or Airbnb – we are finally home for good.  This was a painfully long trip and I am glad I didn’t know how slow it would be.  We thought we’d be gone 4 weeks and it just kept multiplying until it was 6.  Although slow, it was truly a great trip with no breakdowns or illnesses or emergencies.  We explored 3 countries – mountains and jungles and deserts and rivers.   It was the necessary conclusion to our life in Canada.  Besides the people we love, we have absolutely nothing left in Canada.  Everything has been sold or donated or relocated.  No matter how sad or painful, the end must come before the new beginning can manifest.

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The border crossing was easier this time.  We hired 1 guy to drive our heavy equipment and trailer over, 1 guy drove 2 van loads of household and building supplies, and we drove our truck full of all that was left.  After 2 or 3 hours, – and a pile of U.S. cash – we were IN and so was our stuff.  For the next 2 days, we traveled through Sonoro and Sinoloa south of the Mexican border, and we arrived home in Nayarit on Thursday night.  The last 5 hours were the worst of the whole trip, but we were determined to make it home and we pushed through the beautiful but curvy mountain roads as the sun was setting.

On Friday morning, we headed straight to the orphanage and were greeted just as we expected – with huge hugs and toothless smiles.  The children wanted to know about Canada and looked through every picture on our phones.  They loved the videos of the waterfalls and wanted to know who every person was in every photo.20170714_124927

20170714_120655We had two surprises waiting for us.  The first was to be hugged by little Brittany and Priscilla.  I told you their story last year when they had to leave Manos de Amor because their drug addicted mom insisted she wanted them back.  (My Very Worst Day….)  We had visited them a couple of heart breaking times at their grandmother’s tiny home and then a few months ago they disappeared.  No one knew where they had moved to and I thought I would never see them again.  In June their Grandmother called the orphanage – she had taken the girls from their mom, could they come and live at Manos de Amor again?   20170714_172811.jpgI am not certain about the status of their legal papers and honestly, I am not going to ask.  I am just so happy to see them laughing again.  We drove them back to Grandma’s house on Friday evening so they could spend the weekend with her and we were relieved to find out where they now live in a nearby town.  We were also thrilled to reconnect with their two older sisters.

We then drove Jose to his home and met his 5-day old nephew who had been born to his 16-year-old sister Ibet.   One of my Canadian friends had given me a large bag of clothes and diapers to share with this young family and the tired mama was grateful.  This baby is the second son for this teenager and I worry how another little person will impact this already struggling family.  Even though he was 5 days old, this little guy hadn’t been given a name yet – Ibet said she was waiting for me to help her choose – so we threw around some ideas and today I got to give Cristofer Alejandro his name.   He is tiny – around 7 pounds – but I was happy to see him being nursed which isn’t always the case with teenage moms here.

 

Meet Cristofer Alejandro

And there was more good news.   On Saturday afternoon, we met little Mateo who had also been born while we were away.   On Saturday night we visited with Francisco and Anita whose adoption of little Ivan recently took a giant step closer to being complete.  On Sunday, we hugged Carmelo and Paola who are now engaged after a sunset proposal on a beach arranged with hearts and roses.  Many happy stories – new beginnings – God directed stories of great hope.

 

New Beginnings! Meeting Baby Mateo, Ivan’s dedication, Carmelo pops the question

As we reconnected with all these friends, I was reminded that although cultures differ in so many ways, we are all connected by our similar human experiences – births and marriages, poverty and riches, joy and pain, hopes and disappointments.   The shades may be different but the colors are the same.

For Grant and I, a new stage of this crazy journey has begun.  The forever part.  Stay tuned…. it’s gonna be a story!