My 2017 Word

Posted on by
1

Every year I give myself a word to focus on – a word that represents what I really want to see grow in my life in this new year.  I have been doing this for more than 20 years.  It’s not exactly a resolution, it’s more of an intention.  Some years I repeated the word from the year before because I knew I wasn’t quite there yet.    “Whole” took me a few years because it’s a pretty big job to really feel whole.  2 years ago I chose “Joy” because I knew the road was going to be bumpy as we planned our move here.  “Joy in the journey” and all that.  Last year was “Peace” because I expected – and experienced – a lot of stress and chaos and needed to re2017 Concept Watercolor Thememind myself that there IS peace that passes understanding when you are where you are meant to be.  I probably should have picked “Fitness” or “Healthy eating” a time or two.  But what about 2017?  Now that we are finally here, what do I want to see grow in my life?  Because you know that what you focus on always grows.

This year I have chosen the word BOLD.  We are truly loving our new life here in Mexico, but honestly I am just slightly terrified every moment of every day.  Not scared as in “What if I get shot by banditos” but scared as in “Do I have what it takes to start a new life, to learn a new language, to find a new purpose?”  And I know that if we are going to succeed here, we will need to step boldly right into the middle of the craziness.

The definition of BOLD:

  1. not hesitating or fearful in the face of actual or possible danger or rebuff; courageous and daring: a bold hero
  2. necessitating courage and daring; challenging: a bold adventure.

At first I thought my word should be BRAVE:  “possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance”.  But then I realized nope, I am definitely not possessing or exhibiting courage.  Maybe I will feel more brave at this time next year.  But being bold means stepping out IN SPITE of not feeling brave.  It’s going to mean talking to my neighbors when I know my Spanish sucks big time.  It’s going to mean driving through sketchy shanty towns to drive children home on the weekend.  It’s going to mean eating stuff that I don’t recognize because someone has sacrificially offered it to me.  It’s going to mean hugging a child who I know has lice or germs or sickness.  It’s going to mean making new fe30e8956f015ebbc14e1b14891bd5a60riends when I really just miss my old friends.

Where do I start?  How do I become bold and courageous?  I think when you’re bold you don’t have time to ask that question – you just get off your butt and you step out and you grab onto whatever is in front of you.  Even if you don’t feel brave.  You trust that you are where you have been called and you are not alone.  A bold hero on a bold adventure.  That’s what I want to be this year.

7156d69d5f46cdc96fad07dd9b909e65

 

Happy New Year to all of you who are cheering us on – I truly hope you have found the word that will guide your way in 2017!

 

 

 

Therefore, since we have such hope, we are very bold.  2 Cor 3:12

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid.  Do not be discouraged.  The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.  Josh 1:9

Beware of the Swanson Family Vacation

Posted on by
1

The thing with family vacations is that they are seldom as perfect as you plan them to be, but in the end they add a bunch of stuff to the memory vault that you will share forever – funny stuff and irritating stuff and crappy stuff and amazing stuff.  Stuff that only this particular group of people can share.  It’s YOUR stuff.  That is what makes a rewarding family life – and as Hollywood has already discovered, vacations seem to produce more stuff than any other time.

Christmas week with our daughters here in Bucerias was mostly great.  But when we remember the Christmas of 2016, we won’t remember the perfect weather, the beautiful days at the pool and beach, the sweet children at the orphanage, or the delicious street food.

These are the things we’ll remember:

  • The stuff we lost:
    • The prescription sunglasses
    • The purse with the IPhone and credit card
    • The necklace just purchased at the market
    • The keys to the car and house
  • The stuff we felt:
    • The food poisoning
    • The busted up toes from surfing
    • The cold sore
    • The itchy head
  • The stuff we chased:
    • The lice
    • The maggots
    • The ants
  • The stuff we heard:
    • The chickens
    • The dogs
    • The goats and parrots and roosters and sheep
    • The unending fireworks

Those are the things we will laugh about together for a long time – kind of like the Las Vegas vacation where the car overheated the whole trip and we had to drive with wet towels on our heads,  or the Disneyland vacation where we ate nothing but 39 cent McDonalds cheeseburgers and Taco Time because we really couldn’t afford that trip at all.

But we also had some sweet moments together this week and one of my favorites was the day we played together and danced together with our Manos de Amor children.  I hope we’ll remember that afternoon too, because life must have some gentle moments to offset the harsh ones.  Some joy to offset the pain.  Some laughter to offset the puking!

 

img_20161230_122752

Adios my lovely daughters Meigan and Brett – safe travels and come back soon. We definitely have more memories to create.  Hasta pronto mis hijas bonitas!

img_20161224_165913

PS.  In case I’ve scared you away from ever visiting us, let me assure you that the maggots are gone, the lice are gone and the smuggled box of Borax took care of the ants – they’re gone too!

Gross

Posted on by
4

I really wasn’t going to tell this story.  I told my daughter, “Yeah this is definitely not going in the blog”. After she told me that was a silly reaction, I reminded myself that I have committed to share our story.  To tell the REAL story of what it is like to move to a third world country and live with the people and problems we find here.   I also realized this is an “all world” issue that almost all parents face.  But I have never faced it and although I was totally expecting it, I was STILL GROSSED OUT!  What is the story?  Yesterday I realized I had head lice.  On my head.  Little creatures living on my head.

Last week I was excited to spend time with 2 girls that no longer live at Manos de Amor Casa Hogar.  Their grandmother no longer wants them there, although she can’t care for them well.  I have known them for a number of years and was super excited to see them.  I love that even when months go by, the relationships we have built with these little ones remain strong.  So we played and we hugged and cuddled a LOT and I saw right away that they had lice – and I made the decision to just be with them anyway.

picture1

And sure enough, I started feeling itchy a few days ago. I tried to ignore it but finally had to face the inevitable possibility.   Luckily my daughter, who works with children at risk in Vancouver, knows the drill and we spent some ‘quality’ time together drinking wine and picking out lice.

 

I could write an ‘inspirational’ post about how love sometimes gets messy, about how ministry is not easy, about how taking risks brings the greatest rewards, about how giving sometimes hurts.  But honestly I don’t feel all that noble about it all – I just think it’s kinda funny and really really gross and I expect it will not be the last time a little one gives me this gift.  That’s just part of the story when you’re living amongst children whose parents can’t care for them well.

And since you’re already totally grossed out, I’m not even going to tell you about the maggots we found in the kitchen today….. Viva Mexico!

 

This feels like Christmas

Posted on by
Reply

Christmas looks very different here in Mexico.  I mean it physically looks different.  Having grown up in Saskatchewan my entire life, Christmas just comes with snow.   Christmas lights glitter against the frosty trees and fireplaces glow as a backdrop for our giant puzzles and games of scrabble.   I have spent the past few Christmases here in Mexico so I am getting used to palm trees and beaches – but it doesn’t feel quite the same.  Last night Christmas felt a bit like home.

img_20161223_132733

Daniella & Grant

After spending most of the afternoon playing games with the dozen children who were still at the orphanage, we returned in the evening for a family Christmas evening.  We pulled the couches around the giant donated TV, popped some popcorn, turned off all the lights and cuddled together to watch a movie about the true story of Christmas – the birth of baby Jesus.  Daniella was tucked tightly under my arm and she was engrossed with the story – especially excited when the angels appeared.  As we watched, I realized that THIS FELT LIKE CHRISTMAS.   At one point, Daniella looked out the open doorway – no frosty glass blocks our view here – and pointed at a super bright star.  “Mira – la Estrella!”  Look.  The Star.   When baby Jesus was finally born, the children all applauded.  This is what Christmas is about.  Knowing that Jesus was born to care for the ‘least of these’.  Knowing that we get to share in the journey with him as we care for these little ones.

img_20161219_100617

Me and Perla… who used to be Mona

 

Of course, like every family every soft special moment is interspersed with the ‘real’ moments.  Under my other arm was mischievous Perla (My name is Perla now…. I was Mona when I was little…consider myself scolded).  She was busy pouring chili on her popcorn and you just know that’s going to go bad!

 

 

img_20161223_205135

Jessica & Geraldine

Today my own daughters will be here.  Our Swanson family Christmas will begin. Most of our traditions have changed now.  There will be no tobogganing, no hash brown casserole, no quiche, no grandparents or extended family.  Our stack of gifts will be much smaller.

But the essence has not changed.   Baby Jesus will still guide our way and the star will remind us of that first simple Christmas.  Meigan and Brett will join us at the orphanage to play with their ‘siblings’.  And Brett will probably beat us in a game of Scrabble Slam …. Cause that’s just what we Swanson’s do.

img_20161216_122521

Merry Christmas from Santa Samantha

 

Have a blessed Christmas Eve my friends!

Watch for Traffic!

Posted on by
Reply

Traffic is always a bit crazy here but during Christmas month it is even crazier – tourists and shoppers are everywhere.  But ‘traffic’ does not just mean cars, trucks, motorcycles, vans, taxis, golf carts, buses.  It also means the animals who we share the roads with.   We arrived at the orphanage on Friday to take Paola shopping at Mega and this is what we saw that morning: (keep in mind – we don’t live in the country!  This was all in town on the way to Mega)

A loose donkey grazing along the road

img_20161215_175221

A traffic jam of horses and a construction lift

img_20161216_115041

Some other horses checking out what was happening in the orphanage – and eating the garbage

Some loose cows having lunch – kinda close when you’re sitting at a light in a convertible!

img_20161216_114744

Not to mention the dogs, cats, lizards, chickens and jugglers! This is definitely a very different world and we love watching for the unexpected as we go about our day.

Making some Deliveries

Posted on by
Reply

Besides the children at Manos de Amor, we made up some extra baskets for some other families who desperately need help.

First we delivered baskets to our family in Cardboardlandia  in San Vicente.   Three daughters – three babies.  Born to 13 and 14 year old moms.  I held and fed and hugged baby Alison.  She was happy – she laughed and smiled the entire time.  She has no idea what a difficult road is ahead for her.  Her mom loves her and dresses her up so she is cute – the same way my daughters did with their baby dolls or Barbies.  But Alison is a real baby, a little girl with many challenges ahead.

Her cousins – Lupita and Kevin  – were excited to see us.  Lupita ran to our car yelling “Abuelo, Abuelo” to Grant (Grandpa, Grandpa).  She is tiny – too thin I think – but happy.  Although she is 3, she never speaks but definitely knows how to laugh.

Kevin was also excited to see us, hugging us both tightly, his perpetually runny nose mingling with our hair as he grabbed tight.   We stayed for an hour or two – Alison’s mom told me she would like me to teach her English, so maybe she hopes for a better future.  As we got ready to leave, Kevin climbed in the back of my car and refused to get out.  Thinking we would bluff him into wanting out, we started to drive away and his young auntie and cousins yelled “Adios Kevin”.  He sat up with a big smile on his face, waved at his family and yelled “Adios” before settling back down in his seat.  He was truly hoping to leave with us – where did he think we would go? – and it was heartbreaking to have to wrestle him down while he was screaming to take him out of our car.  He was ready to leave with us, perhaps somehow aware of his unlikely future there in that desolate community made of cardboard boxes and pieces of tarps.

img_20161216_181434Next we drove to Valle de Banderas to deliver clothes, gifts and the food hamper to the family I told you about a few weeks ago – the two little girls who cannot stay at Manos de Amor because they don’t have their papers.  Since I wrote that post, their mom has decided she does not want the 2 older sisters living at Manos de Amor either, so all 4 girls are now living with grandma or mom.   As we drove up, the oldest daughter ran to our car and threw her arms around us.  She has always been closest to Grant and she held him for a long time.  We went in the house to give the gifts to Grandma and there were the 3 other girls.  A bit shy for the first few seconds but then the two littlest ones jumped into our arms.   I truly don’t think I have ever felt a hug as tight as the one I felt from the littlest daughter.  She held me for many, many minutes as tight as she could.  She simply wouldn’t let go.  Grant was experiencing the same thing with the second daughter.  They were desperately hungry for our love and we let them cling to us for many minutes.  No words. No questions or explanations.  Just hugs.

img_20161216_180927

Eventually we left and again our ride home was quiet.  How do you process or understand or discuss what we see here?

In our home, as in yours, Christmas has always been a big deal.    Lots of gifts and stuffed stockings, fancy brunches and dinners, decorations inside and out.  Archie comics, Life Saver books,  Lip smackers.   Even the pets received gifts.  But now I see that for much of the world Christmas is not about getting more stuff.  It is a parade in the town square, a party at school, some fireworks in the street and  a LOT of music with family gathered close.   Today my daughter texted and said “Let’s keep it simple this year.  Let’s not get caught up in the commercialism”.  I couldn’t agree more.  Let’s keep it simple. Let’s hugs some kids, give some time, and spread some hope.  Let’s count our blessings and just love those around us.  Let’s worship the One we celebrate on this day by loving the least of these.img_20161216_163544

Let’s Go Shopping

Posted on by
Reply

A number of you donated money for me to bring to Manos de Amor and I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to be the messenger who got to deliver your gift.  We had two very specific ideas.

First, we wanted to take each sibling group shopping to buy a gift for the parent or grandparent who cares for them outside of Casa Hogar.  This was an interesting personal test of my own merciful heart as I sort of thought that these parents didn’t really deserve a present all that much.  These children aren’t generally living at Manos de Amor because they have great, upstanding parents.  Some are prostitutes.  Some have in the past abandoned their children for weeks or months at a time with no food.  Some have abused their children.  Many (most?) are drug addicts or alcoholics.   But I know that to the children, these flawed adults are their first love – they are mama or papa or abuelita and Grant and I knew that they needed a way to express their love and to be able to give.   So over the course of 3 days, we took all of the children to Walmart or Mega to buy a gift for their caregiver.  They all took it very seriously, trying to decide what their parent would want.  Some of them were very conscious of price tags,  others just really wanted to buy some toys.  One boy tried convincing me his mom really loved Lego.  Another tried for an Xbox.  One asked if he could buy something for his mama- whom I know he hasn’t seen in years.  It was fun and just a bit heart breaking.  I have no idea if the parents will give a gift back.  Perhaps the gift they got from Walmart is all they will get this year.  But regardless, it is important that these children learn that giving is a part of life that brings great joy.

The second thing we wanted to do was put together some food hampers to send home with the children when they left for Christmas vacation.  I always worry when the children leave for the weekend.  I know that some of them may not eat for a few days.  They may be alone most of the time.  But these parents/grandparents want to have a relationship with their children.  They know they can’t care for them so they allow them to live at Manos de Amor during the school year, but on vacation they want to be a family.  Even if they don’t have the emotional or financial ability to do it all that well.  So we went shopping for 13 large baskets of food – rice, beans, pasta, tuna, dried fruit, nuts, cereal, and of course some fun Christmas stuff like cookies and candy canes.   How excited they were when they realized they got to take the big package home.

 

img_20161216_154845We drove Rubi to meet her Grandfather who sells chairs and rugs by the side of the road.  As we drove, Rubi asked if the money for the food baskets came from my friends in Canada and I said yes.  She hugged the basket and looked up and said “Gracias Dios.  Dios is grande”.  Thank you God….God is great.  I guess that pretty much says it all.  Thank you to my Canadian friends who follow our story and support these children with us.   I am so happy that Rubi recognizes that although it was Canadians who provided the funds, the thanks goes to God because He is good.

Let’s Get this Party Started

Posted on by
Reply

It’s been a Christmas kind of week!  We arrived here on Monday night and got right to work celebrating children and Christmas at Manos de Amor.

First let me say that our 6 bulging suitcases full of miscellaneous ridiculous and yet vital crap made it through all of the screenings and security and red/green lights. While sitting in Calgary on a layover, we heard that the Regina airport was shut down because of a ‘suspicious object’ that had been found in a bag.  I can’t lie – my mind raced through the rather long list of suspicious objects, powders and liquids in our bags and I wondered if we were the cause of the shutdown.  I mean, who travels with a BBQ, potato peeler, box of Borax, guacamole spices, bathroom scale, hummingbird feeder, sugar bowl, a giant tub of protein shake and 84 cold sore pills.  Oh, and a Christmas moose.

We waited patiently as our bags were almost the last to come around the turnstile and after assuring the security guy that I only had some clothes and a couple of things for our home, we were in a taxi headed HOME.

On Tuesday, we headed over to the orphanage to reunite with ‘our’ children.  I had been worrying for quite some time that we had been gone too long, that our relationships might have been damaged or their trust broken.  But I forgot that children are not like grown-ups.  They just love really easy and hug really hard and we were welcomed and kissed and dragged to the swings to get the party started.

On Wednesday, we helped accompany the children to a party hosted by Walmart.  After a fight about who would get to drive in the convertible, we were off for the first of many sugar fests held over this season.  The Walmart employees had each bought a gift for a child and the sorriest looking Santa I have ever see handed them out.  I realized that children are pretty much the same everywhere.  Brayan put up his hand to inquire if he could get a sandwich without onions cause he hates onions.  Zimbry held his hand to his head when he looked in his bag and didn’t see the truck he wanted.   Many tiny hands grabbed Grant or myself to run to the bathroom.  When they discovered the hand dryers which they had not seen before, they washed over and over, giggling like crazy.  It was just a fun day of mayhem, fueled by sugar and juice boxes.

 

 

The next day, a family from Canada came to the home with gifts for everyone (yay more sugar!) and face paints and balloons.  I love how the children at Manos de Amor are so open to entertaining strangers.  And I loved how every few minutes they would run back to Grant or me to show us something or give a hug – assuring themselves there was a familiar safe place nearby.  I love how Carlos and Brayan asked for their faces to be painted with mustaches “similar a Grant”.

During this festive season, many people are eager to share with those less fortunate.  There are many tourists who will come over the next 2 weeks to bring gifts and donations and we welcome them all.  Not because they will bring toys and candy and other gifts that every child wants.  But because they will step outside of their own comfortable lives to be part of the very difficult story of a lost child.  Even if just for a couple of hours, their own hearts will be broken and transformed just a tiny bit.  That is the only way we can really change the world – by allowing ourselves to be broken enough that we are willing to give it forward.   So thank you Walmart.  Thank you generous tourists.  Thank you.

Goodbye Lumsden

Posted on by
3

Today is a weird day – our house is sold and we stayed at a hotel last night because we no longer have a home in Canada.  For the first time in a very long time I don’t actually own a home anywhere.  I have a rental in Bucerias and a chunk of land near La Cruz that will someday be the place where I will sit on the deck watching the sun set over the ocean.  But today I woke up in a hotel because I am sort of homeless.

lumsdenhwysignWe have been in the Lumsden area since 1995.  When I think about it, the whole Swanson home parade in Lumsden has been anything but normal.  It has been unusual and creative and severely backbreaking.

 

It started in 1994 when we purchased 25 acres overlooking the beautiful Qu’Appelle Valley with a pretty creek running through it.  6 others purchased land there as well and we built a little community together.  Of course, we didn’t just build a simple house like everyone else.  We moved a giant of a house 152 km from a farm in Ogema to Lumsden.

6-70

It was the wettest summer in history and our house sat stuck in a field for much of the summer – finally arriving the day before school started.  It was a ton of work getting it set on the new foundation, building a garage and creating a yard but it was a blast for our daughters to play in the woods in the treehouse Grant built them.  We had friends over for bonfires in a clearing and skating on the cr6-67eek.  We watched foxes play in the valley and deer wander through.  It was a good place for our family.  But our purpose had been to flip it to make some money and after 2 or 3 years we sold out.  By that time our girls were committed to friends and school in Lumsden and they begged us to stay in the community.

Unfortunately, the possession date for our sale was quick and there were few houses available in Lumsden, so we bought the oldest, ugliest house in town.  Ugly.  Really ugly.  It was 100 years old with lots of character.  Unfortunately, most of the character was from the 60s …. Imagine purple shag carpet everywhere.

img_20161212_104715-002

So we set to work stripping a dozen layers of wallpaper, moving walls, building stairways and tearing up floors.  We added a garage and a loft.   It wasn’t quick and we lived in the middle of the construction for months – but it picture1was to be our family home for the next 14 years.  It was a good town to raise a family.  Our girls could walk to school and take off on their bikes without concern.  We had friends over to toboggan down the church hill and walked the dogs down by the railroad tracks.  After a stroke in 2005, I spent many months sitting beside the river at the railroad trestle  – meditating and praying and healing.  It was a good place for our family.

405696_10150604519856757_309916065_n 018 016 006

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After High School, both of our daughters went off to University and new careers kept them from returning to Lumsden.  Grant and I began to dream of our own future adventure and decided to finance it by diving into one more crazy Lumsden house experience.  Because our home sat on a double lot, we were able to subdivide our land and make room to build one last Canadian Swanson home.   Just as we got started, a real estate building boom hit our province and Grant’s company was swamped with work.  Which severely hampered his plan to build our house in his free time.  Being as he no longer had free time.  Our dream got a bit dusty sitting on the shelf.  I am grateful I did not know how long this would take and how hard it would be.  I also did not imagine how beautiful this last house would be and how much love and heart Grant would pour into it.   We lived in it for a year and loved every moment of it.

s_iho3znketlz69siqy1nt

But yesterday was our very last day in Lumsden.  As we cleaned and packed the last boxes, we watched children tobogganing on the hill and remembered the many pots of hot chocolate we had brewed for our girls and their friends over the years.  A dog that looked just like Carmel ran up the hill and I remembered the many times she dragged Brett around town on their walks.  I thought of the many litters of kittens we raised in a box in our closet and imagine that perhaps that is why Meigan loves her cats so much today.  img_20161211_194016We walked around the now empty house with the new owners and heard their excitement – and trepidation – for this new stage in their lives.  I told them that I hoped they would be happy there, that they would love this house and that this would be a good place for their family.

 

img_20161211_212753Finally checked into our hotel, exhausted and emotional, we poured ourselves 2 glasses of champagne to toast the very good life we had lived in the little community in the valley and to the hope we had of a very good life by the ocean.  And then we got on a plane.  It’s time.

It’s a Done Deal!

Posted on by
3

Well this was a VERY GOOD WEEK and I am reminded – embarrassingly so – that life happen as it is meant to happen, in the timing that is best for us, and usually without a lot of my brilliant help.  God has this – and I know that and I let myself worry anyway.  But this week a lot of stuff came together and I can’t deny that the timing was pretty much perfect on all of it.

We have been negotiating for almost a year to sell Grant’s business and today we received the papers from the lawyer with all the clauses and appendixes and addendums agreed to.  The closing date is January 15th –  it’s a done deal.

sold

 

We’ve had our house for sale for 5 months – and we’ve been building it for an eternity before that – but this week we accepted an offer and today we received word that the appraisals and financing and conditions were complete.  The closing date is January 9th – it’s a done deal.

 

And best of all, today we had our interviews at the Mexican Consulate in Calgary.  We’ve been dreaming of this day and researching the process for many months – years really – and today we heard the words we were hoping after we submitted all the forms and photos and bank statements “You’re approved – come back in an hour and pick up your Visa.  You’re officially a Mexican resident”.   It’s a done deal.

I don’t want to frighten you with the real picture…. Meigan says I’m ‘stern’

So basically, within a 24-hour period it all came together – the business and the house and the visa.  What are the odds of that?  It was supernatural and miraculous and humbling and affirming.  We also found out today that just last month the rules in Mexico changed so we can now import our truck, which was deemed too large in the past.  Another problem solved on our behalf just in time.

Of course, this is all bittersweet and our happiness is touched by the finality of it all.  Grant has been operating Vision Enterprises for most of his adult life – it has been good to us and he has been fortunate to have been able to create his own work for all of these years.  Although we have not been in this house long, Grant built every part of it with his heart.  We raised our children right next door.  Except for 2 years, I have lived in this province my entire life.  And then there’s our church, our families, our friends, our people…..

That is how a full life must be.  No new crop can grow unless a seed falls to the ground and dies. I cannot embrace “hello” until I whisper “goodbye”.   Banderas Bay Enterprises can only flourish when Vision Enterprises is gone and I can’t create my home by the ocean until I drive away from my beautiful house in the valley.

So today was a good day and I celebrated by having a full fat latte WITH whipped cream. Crazy right?  Now to finish packing and hit the road in time for a Mexican Christmas with our daughters.  I am ready for the adventure to become more permanent.  It’s finally a done deal!

starbucks