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The Road to Fun

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Okay this is what I signed up for!  No we didn’t spend the day by a fancy pool in a gated community sipping pina coladas which is what I THOUGHT I was signing up for.  Today we went for a spin around the neighborhood in our finally finished ‘restored’ golf cart.  Over dirt piles, into potholes, around roosters and horses and dogs.   We picked up children along the way and stopped for a lunch in a tiny new restaurant – less than $10 for 2 giant meals including soup, drink and dessert!

 

This golf cart has been my husband’s project over the past few weeks – Grant cannot be at peace unless he is fixing something.  And this REALLY needed fixing.  It had been donated to the orphanage and the children had used it as an experiment to figure out how things work.  Wires were pulled off, tires were shredded, the oil tank was full of water and the gas tank was full of toys.  We even pulled an MP3 player out of some random crevice yesterday.  Before going to Canada we had ordered all the needed parts to get this thing back on the road – we picked up some in Montana, had more shipped from Arizona.  We drove into Vallarta to get vinyl for the seats and had a local guy sew them up.  So today we set out exploring some of the back roads between our house and the orphanage.  We waved at old grandpas wearing sombreros and sitting on broken chairs outside their homes.  We were chased halfheartedly by the neighbor dogs and laughed at by toddlers in diapers.  It was just fun and it reminded me why we are doing this – to see life through a childlike lens of joy and simplicity.  Today I felt like a kid – and it was fun!

Check out the progression….

What on earth have they done to this thing???

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We’re on the road but it looks like we’re heading to war

Some paint…. some upholstery….. a top….

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Ready to pick up some passengers and hit the road! 

A bit nervous about what his next project will be….

A Very Long Trip

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On the road again

No point lying.  It was not an easy trip from Nogales down to Bucerias.  It was really long – and pulling a 32 foot red box full of heavy stuff for over 5000 km is bound to come with challenges.  We were pleased to cross the border with relatively few problems, but that left us with 1570 kms to go and of course, it would not be uneventful.  Although we arrived at the border on Friday, we could not meet with the broker until Monday – and honestly we really needed a couple of days rest in Arizona over the weekend.  We set out on Monday morning, and after spending a few hours at the border, we only made it about 4 hours to Hermosillo.   The next day we went as far as Culiacan.  That is not our favorite place to stop – it’s El Chapo’s town – but it was the most convenient and we found a decent place to stay with a parking lot big enough to accommodate our crazy rig.   It was our plan to make it home or close to home on Wednesday – I had a plane to catch on Friday – but that was not to be.  We set out on Wednesday morning, and after only going about 40 miles we heard the clunk you don’t want to hear. Another tire gone.  And this time when we looked closer we saw that the axle on the trailer was completely broken.    So there we were on the only stretch of highway I don’t feel that comfortable on – Culiacan to Mazatlan – with a broken axle and shredded tire.   When you travel on toll roads on Mexico, you are entitled to roadside assistance when you have breakdowns and I had the number for the Green Angels in my phone.  When I called them they told me they don’t look after trailers, but they gave me another number to call.  That number put me through to a dispatcher in Mexico City who tried to understand where we were and who said he would send help.  At that point I decided it was time to call in the heavy guns – my friends Francisco and Anita.  Francisco and Anita are Mexican Americans who are living in Bucerias as they finalize the adoption of their sweet son.  They have become good friends and I needed to hear the voice of a good friend.  Who spoke Spanish.  So Francisco set to work calling the highway patrol for us and after about 4 hours two kind men showed up with a tow truck.  A small tow truck that had absolutely no possibility of towing our trailer.  They knew of a welder who lived nearby, and after about 2 more hours he showed up to spot weld our axle so that we could at least drive the 2 hours to Mazatlan.  We would try to find a new axle or a trailer repair shop there.

6 hours staring at this corn field thanks to this broken axle

We drove slow and made it to Mazatlan, exhausted and starving.  I started to look at bus routes and plane schedules – we thought perhaps we would leave the trailer there and return for it in a couple of weeks.  But when we started to look for trailer repair shops we realized our plan was impossible.  We eventually found an American guy who repairs trailers but when we met him on Thursday morning he told us he had absolutely no time and there was no chance of getting a new axle for many weeks.  The only thing we could do was drive home – slowly.  Unfortunately, the very worst part of the trip was still ahead.  From Tepic to Bucerias is only around 140 km, but it takes close to 3 hours to drive it.  It is a windy, hilly mess with crazy drivers who pass on the DO NOT PASS curves and we knew our trailer was going to be a hazard.

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We decided to take a detour to San Blas which is still an insane road but with less traffic.  By the time we reached San Blas it was late afternoon.  It is an interesting beach town and we stopped to eat some roadside sweets before tackling the final stretch.

Those last 3 hours were murder.  It was dark, we were exhausted and traffic on the curvy road was insane.  If my husband wasn’t already my hero, he definitely became one for me that night.  I don’t know how he did it but we made it home – with 12 hours to spare before I had to head to the airport to catch my plane to Cuba.

Yes, it was difficult.  It was exhausting. It was scary.  But it was worth it.  I think that’s how many of the best things in life come to be.  Through great pain.  I sometimes wonder how many times I have quit something that could have been great because I thought the pain was too much.   This time we couldn’t quit – we had to see it through and I am so grateful.  Grateful for a husband who just kept driving, for friends who spent the day tracking down help and checking in on us, for 2 highway patrol guys who stayed with us until we could head out, for a welder who welded the heck out of the axle so that we could make it home.  Grateful for the knowledge that no matter how difficult this all is, we are exactly where we are meant to be and the craziness of the journey just makes arriving at the destination all the sweeter.

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Sharing Easter breakfast with our Road Angels – Francisco & Anita and little Ivan

We’re In – And so is our Stuff

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Today was a surprisingly good day – and by ‘good’ I mean our ridiculously large trailer full of ridiculous items were allowed to join us here in Mexico.  This was a day I have longed for and worried about for a long time.  Although I don’t believe your identity is in your belongings – I believe the total opposite – there is no doubt that after 35 years of marriage we have gathered many things that we love and that make us feel at home, especially when everything else around us feels so unfamiliar.

As we packed, we really did purge an awful lot.  We sold lots, donated lots, pitched lots.  But we also packed lots and our reasons changed throughout the process.  After living here in Mexico for most of the last 18 months, I have realized the value of many of the things I wanted to get rid of.  I see so many needs and realize that some of these things just might be exactly what someone else needs.  For instance, I absolutely do not want to sew any more – but what if a young mom could use that old sewing machine to earn some income for her family?  What if someone living up in the surrounding mountains,  where winters are cold could really use some of the blankets I will never need?  And the kid’s games and Wii stuff – how fun for our Manos de Amor children who sometimes come to visit.  So we packed more than we intended to and spent these last few days pulling the monster trailer through USA, knowing that the border crossing might be difficult and scary.  We had done it with the tools in September and were not excited to do it all again.

But today went much better.  After getting the permit and approval from the consulate on Friday, we arrived at the Custom Broker’s office at 9:00 this morning.  It took about 1 ½ hours to get a bunch more papers filled out and signed – for a country of very loosy goosy rules, Mexico sure does love its paperwork.  We then headed to the Border, a few miles down the road.  There we were sent through a giant x-ray and then told to back up to a loading bay.  Unfortunately, they asked told us to start unloading the trailer.   They wanted to see all the way up the middle of the trailer and along the right side.  Apparently, there were recently two cases where people smuggled in video games and medication, hidden in mattresses, so security was tight.   We had packed that trailer – twice – like an enormous Jenga puzzle.  Everything JUST fit and there was not an inch to spare.  So to unload it and put it all back was terribly frustrating for us.  The good news is there were 2 guys to help – the bad news is they had obviously never played Jenga.   After the inspection, we did get it all back in but I expect it to explode like a spring loaded jack-in-the-box when we open that back door.  Altogether, the whole process took about 4 hours and then we were back on the road.

 

We now have 2 more long days of driving.  It’s not over yet.  But we are in.  Our stuff is in.  We have everything we need to make a comfortable home -and hopefully share some of our stuff with some new friends who need a hand.  Mainly, we are just really ready to be at home.

It Hasn’t Been an Easy Week… BUT…

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The rubber has finally hit the road (actually the rubber literally hit the road) on our journey to relocate our belongings south of the border.   Truly, this whole move has been one of the most difficult – and confusing – things I have ever done.  I am used to making a plan, putting it on a spreadsheet, and getting it done.  But this thing has had more twists and turns than you can imagine and I have reluctantly surrendered to the uncertainty of it all.  We are taking it step by step and the spreadsheet is in the shredder.   It is probably good for me to be ‘out of control’ but dang that is tough.  I know Grant feels exactly the same way.  We are living on pure faith and have seen so many mini miracles that remind us that this journey is not our own.

I won’t go into a lot of details but want to share some of the highlights – and lowlights.IMG_20170319_134847  After a difficult week in cold Regina emptying our giant trailer and repacking it to make sure the weight was distributed better, we hit the road on Sunday morning.  We were pleased at how well the trailer pulled and our first stop was to visit some friends in Montana – college friends we had made 40 years ago but lost touch with until a chance encounter in Wyoming last year.  It was a good visit and Charlie prayed a sweet prayer over us as we set out.

As we have travelled, we have encountered problems and challenges – lots of them – BUT we have also been given solutions in amazing ways.

  • Our very first night we looked out of our second-floor window at our 115-year-old hotel and saw that one of the tires on our trailer was missing. Not just the rubber but the entire tire – gone. Brand new tire.  What is with us and Montana and tires?  BUT – there was a tire shop directly across the street in this TINY town of 605 people and the owner agreed to work as late as necessary to repair all the damage that had been done.
  • The next day I forgot my purse – with our passports and Mexican immigration cards, etc – in a Mexican restaurant in Billings and didn’t realize it for 15 or 20 miles down the road BUT some kind soul turned it in without looting the contents.
  • We came across a snowstorm in Wyoming, BUT because of our delay in Montana we only caught the very end of it.
  • IMG_20170325_103806We had to unload our entire truck in order to go across the border to get our needed vehicle permits BUT the room we had booked at Holiday Inn was the largest room I have ever seen and the elevator was right next to our room so we had lots of space to store our 4 dining room chairs and millions of boxes after making 6 trips up with the luggage cart.
  • The super bumpy roads caused tire and brake problems with such a heavy load, BUT the tire guy in Pueblo, Colorado, the trailer hitch guy in Albuquerque, New Mexico, the trailer brake guy in Nogales, Arizona – they all dropped what they were doing to fix whatever needed fixing to keep us on the road.

Seeing the country – Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona

This 115 year old hotel – Kempton Hotel in Terry, Montana – has never been closed.  Over 42,000 days in operation

So now we are at the border and that is where it all comes together – or doesn’t.  Although we have followed all the rules –  the 10-page list of every item, translated into Spanish, with Make, Model and Serial No – I know there are many things that can go wrong.  Mexican rules are fluid, and sometimes that works for you and sometimes that works against you.

Friday we arrived in Nogales – at least 1 day behind schedule.  We needed to get our list of belongings, known as the Menaje de Casa, approved at the Mexican consulate and a permit issued.  Everything I read said if you dropped the paperwork off today, the permit would be ready tomorrow.  But that doesn’t include weekends so the earliest we could expect to get it would be Monday afternoon.  We arrived at the Consulate on Friday at 2:00, with lists and photocopies of passports and immigration cards and letters of request in hand.  The lone man at the desk said we could have an appointment at 3:30 and the permit would probably be ready Monday.  And then I remembered my word for the year: BE BOLD.  So I said, “Senor, we have a difficult week and we are behind schedule and I really want to get home – is there any chance we could get it today?”.  Well let me see…… and he started going over the list.  Item by item.  All 383 of them.  He reminded us that the consulate has the authority to say NO to any one of those items if it seems like we’re bringing too much.  Which you know we are.  Finally, he looked up and said, “Your list is very good.  Come back at 2 minutes to 5:00 and I might have it done”.  And he did.  First thing done.  (I knew my spreadsheet skills would come in handy!)

The next thing was our car permit.  We had received our first 6 month permit on September 25th.  The truck must be back at the border before that permit expires – and yesterday was March 24th.  We had only a few hours left.  But we weren’t sure exactly how it would work.  Last time they almost didn’t let the truck in because it is so big.  I have read that they have relaxed that a bit, but I couldn’t find anything official saying large trucks are now allowed.  And the trailer.  Apparently you can only bring in trailers up to 16 feet long – and ours is 32 feet.  So we really didn’t know if our trip would end here or if they would give us a new permit to match our new residency status.

Nogales

We had to drive 35 miles into Mexico to the Banjercito office where vehicle permits are given.  We weren’t ready to take all our belongings through customs, so that meant we had to empty our truck before heading across the border.  Finally, at about 9:00 pm we set off – first to the office where they cancelled our old permit, refunded our deposit and scraped the sticker off the windshield.  Grant then pulled a U-turn in the middle of the highway to get to the office on the other side to apply for the new permit.  And it was uneventful.  We got a new permit for truck and trailer, applied the new windshield sticker and paid a new deposit.  The vehicles are legal.

By the time we got back to our hotel it was 12:30 am.  I was more exhausted than I remember being in a long time.  The many hours in the truck, the crappy fast food meals, the worry about lists and permits and tires and brakes – it all landed on my heart and I knew Grant felt the same.  We made a decision to take a couple of days off before tackling Mexico.   At 7:00 on Monday morning we will meet with the Customs Broker who must give us the final paperwork to get our stuff through Customs.  And then we will head out.  If we get the green light, we will be on our way.  If we get a red light, there is a potential the border guards will make us unload the trailer.  Either way we will be fine.  We will tackle each step as it comes because we know we are following the footsteps that have gone ahead to prepare our journey.

And today?  We are definitely tired.  BUT….we’re going shopping. We’re going to be tourists. We’re going to find a nice steak dinner.  Through it all, we’re having a blast together.  We’re living the dream – just not quite how we pictured it!

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. BUT take heart! I have overcome”  John 16:33

Heading North

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Can’t say I’m thrilled to leave the perfect Banderas Bay weather to head into the snowy north, but we have stuff to do and need to spend a few days in Canada.  In a week or so, we’ll hitch our load of personal belongings to the back of the Dodge Ram and drive home.  We need to have our truck at the Mexican border by Mar 25 so we have no time to drag our feet.

I’m sad to leave the kids behind – we had a teary goodbye from some, Natalie just glared and refused to say goodbye at all – but there are things we’re excited to do over these next few days.  Seeing friends and family is obvious – that goes without saying and will take a big chunk of our time.  What are the other things that we’ve been missing and need to squeeze in:

  • A Medium Timmie’s with one cream two sugar and a breakfast bagelTims
  • A movie without subtitles or dubbing and a giant popcorn
  • A steak – the Keg or maybe Applebees
  • Viet Thai – oh I so miss Viet Thai
  • Browsing in Chapters with a Starbucks Vente Skinny Cinnamon Dolce with extra shot of espresso and no whip
  • Watching at least one episode of Home Hunters International and maybe a Dr. Phil
  • A shopping trip for running shoes and underwear and meds and hair clips and proper yellow file folders
  • Church at Bloom with my bloomin friends
  • BATHS! A lot of bubble baths
  • Perogies – I need to find me some perogies
  • Laundry that gets washed AND dried
  • Western or Houston Pizza and maybe a Greek salad
  • Putting on makeup knowing that it will still be on my face in an hour
  • I would say driving on roads without potholes, but well I’m going to Saskatchewan in the spring

The list of what I’ll miss it way too long so I’m not going to think about it.  I’m nervous about having to follow traffic rules, about having to park on the correct side of the street, about having to pay more than $3 for a meal.   It’s just really good to know that Bucerias now feels like home, and the trip we’re about to take feels like ‘vacation’ or ‘business’.  I always wondered if that could happen – if a person who had more life behind than ahead could relocate so drastically and make a new home.  It can!

A Sick Baby & A Scared Mama

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Imagine that you are a fifteen-year-old mom with a 5-month-old baby (a really cute baby).  Your grandma died 2 weeks ago in a nearby hospital – she had a harsh sounding cough which quickly developed into pneumonia and she was gone.  Now your baby has a bad cough.  You have no vehicle to get her to a doctor, no money to pay for one.  Your own mom is still struggling with losing her mom and really doesn’t want to go back to the hospital.  You’re scared.  What would you do?

You would do exactly what every good mom would do – you would call a friend and ask for help.  That is what Irandi did this week when Baby Alison’s cough started sounding ugly and obviously causing pain.  She was scared – really scared when she called me.  She wanted to see a doctor but had no money or health insurance.  Would I help?

Of course we will help – that’s a no brainer.  But the question we face every day here – what is the best way to help in the short term without hurting in the long term?  I don’t have the answers fully worked out in my head so for now I go with my heart.  There’s a sick baby that needs to get to a doctor and her mama is scared.

Grant and I went to San Vicente to pick up Irandi and her baby and while we were at her house, I suggested that her sister Ibet who is 16 come along and bring her 3-year-old son who has had a runny nose for many months.  We filled up Azulita with worried mamas and sick babies and headed to a pediatrician’s office in Mezcales.  We probably could have gone to a local general doctor, but I remember when my youngest daughter Brett was 6 months old she had a similar bronchial infection and had to be hospitalized and kept in an oxygen tent for a number of days.  I remember how serious this type of infection can be for a baby and wanted to get the best care.

The doctor was great.  He asked many questions about her life and the life of her baby.  He asked who I was and Irandi told him I was a friend of her family.  He was kind and concerned for Alison.   He prescribed a number of medications and put her on oxygen for 30 or 40 minutes.  He knew little English and we struggled to understand one another but he tried to keep me involved in what was happening.  He asked us to come back on Thursday afternoon.  Kevin also received some antibiotics to help his infection.

 

On Wednesday night after I had gone to bed, Irandi called in a bit of a panic.  Alison was still coughing.  Maybe we should go to the hospital in Vallarta in the morning.  But that is where Grandma had died and no one wanted to go there again.   I could hear Alison in the background and she sounded strong so I told her to call me early in the morning and we would decide what to do.

In the morning, I had my friend Anita call the doctor using the cell phone number he had given us, to ask if we could see him sooner.  He was in another town until later in the afternoon, but he offered to phone Irandi and find out what was happening with Alison.   That calmed everyone down a bit and we decided to stick with keeping our afternoon appointment with the pediatrician.

That afternoon we picked up Irandi and Alison and this time Irandi’s boyfriend’s mom came along too – I was so relieved to have some family support for this young family.    The doctor listened to her lungs and sent her to xray where it was confirmed she did have a lung infection.  He felt she could be treated at home with the medication he had already prescribed.  He gave her more oxygen and sent us on our way, to come back in 2 weeks.

Again I am faced with the reality of what poverty looks like when you look it in the eye.  Honestly, I just want to kick it in the head most days.

One of the cool parts of this story is that just the day before Irandi called me, I had looked in my purse and found a folded bundle of cash.  I had no idea why it was loose in my purse, or where it came from.  It wasn’t in my wallet with the rest of my money – just a loose wad.  I had asked Grant if he had any idea what it was and he looked at me with the “what are you talking about” look.  I still don’t know where it came from – but it was almost exactly the amount that I needed to pay the doctor’s bill and purchase the medication.    So I told God, “I don’t know what I’m doing here, and we don’t have all that much money now that Grant’s not been working, but if you keep filling up my purse, I’ll keep using it to care for the people you put in my path.”

I now recognize one more thing I need to learn:  what medical and financial resources are available for families like Irandi’s when illness strikes?  How can I help these young moms stand strong and be wise as they care for their children?

Yesterday I received a text from Irandi.  “Thank you Karen.  For yesterday.  Thank you.  Alison is much better.”

Another day, another baby, another difficult life lesson.  And another miracle.

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Irandi and Alison Naomi

 

 

Learning a Language

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The more time we spend here in Mexico, the more we realize the importance of shared language to build relationships and experience success.  Every day we struggle to explain something we need or want – to express an idea or an emotion.  We are fortunate because there is a lot of English spoken here in the Bay – it is a big tourist area and we really could live comfortably if we never tried to speak Spanish.  But we don’t want to live life on the outer edges – to be tourists in our own town.  We want to experience life in the center of the community, to be able to speak to our neighbors and especially to communicate well with the children at Manos de Amor. duolingo2 So we are doing our Duolingo every day and slowly getting better.  Grant is way ahead of me in the program – he has a bigger vocabulary and has done many more lessons.   I am more willing to just start talking, even if I sound ridiculous and make no sense.  We are each learning within our own personalities – the introvert and the extrovert –  and we are slowly making progress.

Using the Duolingo app every day gave us an idea – why not use this same type of fun technology to teach the children how to speak English?  The children at Casa Hogar are already one step ahead of many of their family members and peers because they are regularly attending school.  They receive help every afternoon with homework from our tutor Jezebel.  They are all bringing home good report cards.  If they stick with it, this will definitely help them get a job when they graduate.  But we live in a tourist zone – if they learn English another door will swing wide open for them to work in the hotels and restaurants.   We have volunteers throughout the year who come to the home to help with English, but many are in the area temporarily and we have not been able to set up a long-term English program.

Last summer my friends from Bloom Church came to Bucerias for a week of service – working with the local churches in several surrounding communities and of course working at Manos de Amor.  At the end of the week there was around $1200 left from the money they had raised and we didn’t really know where to use it – so they told me to hang onto it until I saw a good place to use it.  One day a few weeks ago Grant and I decided this might be it – let’s buy some tablets and combine fun technology with language learning.  It’s working for us – surely it can work for children.  We went shopping and bought 5 tablets.We downloaded Duolingo for the big kids and a few English learning apps for the little kids.  And we jumped in.  Obviously, they were super excited to use the brand new tablets – and I am impressed with their progress.

We are just getting started.  We have had 4 or 5 classes using the old and very slow computers in the homework room and now we have switched everything over to the tablets.   We will have 2 classes a week for the big kids and 2 classes a week for the little kids.  They will work through the apps at their own speed and at the end of the class there will be some time for game fun.  At first Grant and I will supervise and we hope to figure it out enough that volunteers can step in and work with the children.

Thanks to those of you who donated money to Bloom last summer.  We would love to buy more tablets – if that is something you would like to donate to, you can do so by giving online.  You will receive an income tax receipt if you donate using the Canadian or American link.  Go to www.manosdeamor.com and click on Give Online tab.

Stay tuned for a progress report!  I suspect it’s going to be a bumpy adventure.

Raising Some $$$

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It has been a whirlwind, but the fundraising season for Manos de Amor is almost over.  In the span of 5 ½ weeks, we have held 3 major events: a Cocktail Party, a Hamburger Fest and last weekend was a GIANT event called Rhythm and Ribs where 1500-2000 people sampled food from almost 30 restaurants, drank beer and danced under the stars to the music of a local band.  It has been fun – and exhausting – and I’m pretty sure that all of us on the steering committee are happy that this part of our job is finished.  We have auctioned off almost 150 items, given away 70 raffle prizes, and split a pile of 50/50 money.  We have sipped wine and danced on the beach, flipped burgers and sang Karaoke in the middle of a street and gnawed on ribs in a big empty field.  Most importantly, we have raised a lot of money which is essential to keeping our home running and keeping our children safe and educated.

Dancing Under the Stars

Hamburger Fest

After picking the short straw, I had the privilege of chairing this last big event and I am so grateful for the dozens of volunteers who worked hard helping this greenhorn pull this off.   I have led a LOT of events, but this one was certainly unique in so many ways.

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Although we have not seen rain here in Bucerias for months, my biggest fear was the big black clouds that began to spit just as we started.  To my great relief, instead of rain we were given a beautiful rainbow.  I took that as personal encouragement!  At the end of the evening, we were treated to a fireworks display by the nearby hotel.   Pretty awesome start and finish to a great event!

I have been in charge of venue setup for many gymnastics meets, and my friends Lorne and Barry have often teased me (you were teasing right?) about how I bossed them around during equipment setup.  (I want the vault runway there…. No there….. no 2 inches to the right…. I mean 3 inches to the left….).  Well I have to say I get much better service here (now I’m teasing).  I mentioned that we really needed to get someone to move a car that was parked in a bad spot, and instantly I had 8 Mexican men literally pick up the car and move it out of the way.  I picked up a table to move it and a nice Mexican man told me ladies don’t have to lift tables.

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She said she wants the car moved…..

 

steps.jpgSo my inauguration into Bucerias fundraising is over.  I met many very cool people, counted a LOT of pesos, sampled ribs and tamales and ceviche, and shook hands with Mexican politicians.  I translated spreadsheets with income and expenses (I can truly say I have never had a line item for ‘Bano revenue’ before), cooked 120 pulled pork sandwiches and walked a LOT of steps.  I can’t say it is my favorite part of charity work – I’d rather just play with kids-  but I do know that raising funds is super important and I am grateful for the many snowbirds and other tourists who supported our children.  GRACIAS!

A Sad Week for Jose

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This was a sad week for Jose and his family – and it broke my heart too.  Every Friday Grant and I drive 6 year old Jose home to spend the weekend with his family in San Vicente.  He lives with his mom and his 6 siblings and his nephew and 2 nieces.  His grandma and aunties have come from the state of Michoacán and have been living 3 blocks away for the past few months.

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Abuelita is on the far right at our Boxing Day Pizza Party

On Sunday I received a message on Messenger from 13 year old Isabel.  Although she no longer lives at Manos de Amor, I hear from her almost every day.  “Hello Karen – what are you doing today?”.  I value the relationship we have built with this family.  But the message I received on Sunday was not just chit chat with a bored teenager.  She told me her abuelita – her grandma – had died.   Oh no.  We had just visited with Grandma the week before when she had been caring for a sick Jose.  She had not been sick then – but apparently a sudden pneumonia had taken her.  We were set to pick up Jose later that evening and I asked what they needed – should I still get Jose?  Would they keep him with family, would he attend a funeral?

 

In Mexico, funerals often happen very quickly – within 36 hours.  There is no embalming, no waiting for many days for family to travel.  There is a wake the first night with a viewing of the body and some type of funeral or gathering the next day.  I received a message later that afternoon asking me to come get Jose at 7:00 as usual.  In Canada it is normal to bring food to a grieving family – and I knew that it would be even more important to do the same here in Mexico.   There is no extra food in the fridge to feed visiting relatives.  So we stopped at the grocery store and bought 4 roasted chickens and some rice and beans and headed out to get Jose, not knowing what to expect.

When we arrived it was quiet at the house -and 12 year old Laurentino told us all of the family had gone to Michoacán – his mom, most of his siblings, his nieces and nephews and aunties and uncles.  He and 13 year old Isabel were left at home and Jose would be going with us to Casa Hogar.  He did not know how long they would all be gone.   I was so glad we had brought the food as there was none in the house and the two children were there alone – under the watchful eye of a neighbor who I knew probably did not have extra food for 2 more.

20170214_142302-4Jose seemed stoic – he walked out of the house and climbed into my car without a word.  I talked to Laurentino for a while – told him to contact me if he needed anything – and drove Jose back to the orphanage.  As soon as we walked into the home, Jose’s damn broke.  He started crying- deep sobbing.  For over an hour I sat on the couch holding this little guy in my arms while he cried and asked for his mama.  I have seen Jose angry, happy, mischievious – but I have never seen such sadness and pain from him.  He cried and I cried and told him “Today I am your mommy Jose.  It is okay”.  After an hour or so I laid Jose on the couch and left.  Laura, the night worker, said he could sleep with her.  I was heartbroken leaving him but I knew he needed a good night’s sleep.

The next morning I arrived at Manos de Amor and as soon as Jose spotted me he ran up to me and said to me (in Spanish of course) “Karen, last night I was crying because my Grandma died  – I’m ok now”.  I smiled and said “I know Jose – you were sad.  It will be okay.  Your Grandma is with Jesus now”.  His serious little face, “No Karen – my Grandma is in Michoacán”.

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So Jose will be okay.  Sometimes it is healthy to cry hard – not just for Grandma but for a missing mama, for a hungry weekend, for nieces and nephews who are born to 13 year old moms, for one room homes in cardboard towns, for all that is hard in his young life.  Today I watched him laugh as hard as he cried on Sunday and I smiled with him –  Jose will be okay and we are so happy to be part of his story.

A Blooming Good Life

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I recognize that sometimes I use this blog to complain and grumble about the things that are difficult here (no my windshield has not been repaired yet), or sad (my fingers caressing the many infected cuts on little Kevin’s legs),  or irritating (the barking dogs at night – oh so many barking dogs). But this morning I walked out into my garden and just felt so grateful for the beauty I saw there.  I generally suck as a gardener, but we bloomed stuff!  I reminded myself once again that even when situations here are difficult, when what I encounter in the homes and people I visit feels like walking in a dry and parched land, life is good.  Very good.  And I rejoice in it.

“The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.  Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.”  Is 35.2